


Familiar Stranger

by kn96Archive



Category: GARO: Gold Storm Sho, Garo: Kami no Kiba, 神ノ牙-JINGA- | Kami no Kiba: JINGA (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Enemies to Lovers, Fusa is the only functioning adult, Jinga has depression, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, Ryuga has anxiety, Strangers to Lovers, Time Travel, any differences from canon is due to writers unreliable memory, coming to terms with personal issues, diverges somewhere around ep 2/3 of Jinga, they both have ptsd, they need therapy, time displaced Ryuga
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:01:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 5,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25670995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kn96Archive/pseuds/kn96Archive
Summary: Accidental time travel, unexpected second chances none of them wished for, and coming to term with issues both of them tried hard to ignore
Relationships: Dougai Ryuuga/Jinga
Comments: 25
Kudos: 16





	1. Unwanted Reunion

**Author's Note:**

> another product of my sleep deprived brain  
> some part may not make much sense

The first time he came across the other an unspeakable chill ran down his spine. There's no mistaking it, it's _him_.

He vehemently denies what he sees. He'd already sent the other back into _Makai_. He made sure of it the second time.

The other turned around and their eyes met.

"..Ryuga, he's _human_."

Zaruba's words felt like it came from far away.

The first thing that crossed his mind is that _this isn't real. This can't be real._

The last thing he remembered was an explosion. He had been out chasing after a Horror as always with nothing out of place that night. It wasn't a particularly difficult opponent, certainly not one he'd have any problem with. He wasn't sure what happened at the end - the ground shook and he vaguely remembered hearing a thunder strike. Then everything turned white.

Whatever happened back then must've sent him somewhere else - like a different world.

If not, then there's no way they can be in close proximity without trying to kill each other.

Apparently in this world, he's still very much alive, very much _human_.

A Knight. Like himself. Like how _he_ was, once.

The tension is palpable in between the two of them. Both party are wary of the other, ready to strike whenever the threat is made clear.

His grip on _GaroKen_ is hard enough to turn his knuckles white.

"Calm down, Ryuga. Don't be rash."

Right. Fellow Knights can't cross blade.

Slowly, he releases his death grip and relaxes his stance, allowing some of the tension to dissolves.

\---

The man before him is a total stranger, yet he feels achingly _familiar_. He's sure they have never met before but he felt like he had wronged the other in some way that he couldn't remember.

(The way the other reacts surely confirms his suspicion, however odd everything feels.)

"Who are you, and where are you from?"

Ever so direct. Fusa must've sensed his hesitation.

The other's stance had loosened somewhat but remained on high alert.

"..Dougai Ryuga, of Line City."

 _Line City_. That's quite a distance away from here. Was the one stationed there someone like this..?

"Do you have a title?"

A flicker of uncertainty, gone just as fast. His gaze returned with steel in them. Slowly he raises the sword held in his left hand.

A _Madou_ ring worn on the left middle finger-

-And a Soul Metal sword with a _red scabbard._

"..Golden Knight, _Garo_."

\---

It's been less than a week since he got stranded in this strange place - to him, it felt _too long_. Everything feels surreal. He doesn't know exactly where he is, or even whether he's still in his correct time period. He'd heard from Rian once - that one time she met a priest from a different time period, and that time's _Garo_ as well.

That in its own is an unbelievable thought. Time travel isn't something he'd given time to ponder on, given his daily activities.

Well, if _he_ can exist the way he is now, it feels quite convincing.

 _What is he_ , anyway?

Human? (He asks, and his senses echoes the same answer.)

(So did Zaruba.)

 _He can't be._ (Denial. _Refusal_.)

Physically, they're the same person. The same voice, the same stature, the _blade_ , _that damn armor_. Seeing it again made his chest constrict with pain and his hands tremble in rising panic. He had to physically _force_ himself down, lest he might attack the other.

(Only to have the other turning towards him as he detransforms, with _worry_ lining his features. The unfamiliar light in his eyes something more akin to _fear_. All of that, followed by a simple question uttered in uncharacteriscally small voice,

 _"..Are you.. okay?"_ )

_Fuck_ , his head hurts.

He probably should sleep, or something. Maybe at least take some rest.

..If he's not feeling so _strung out_. His mind running 300 miles per hour; agitated, _on edge_.

He couldn't remember the last time he actually managed to sleep properly. He did try, never able to get more than an hour at best ( _nightmares_ ). Sometimes it got bad enough he just passes out. Other times Rian just went straight and cast a sleep magic on him.

He thought he got over it that time. He didn't.

So vivid it felt _real_. Each time it was something different - a missed step, one wrong strike, all of them lead to _horrible situations_. Each time he woke up in cold sweat, breathing hard, with disjointed memories. The only thing clear in his mind is sheer _terror_.

It get increasingly evident over time.

It began with little moments of self doubts with an undercurrent of anxiety, then it starts to get hard to concentrate. He'd talk about some of them to Rian, others he kept to himself. Wouldn't want to trouble her any more than she already is. One time Akizuki caught on, he proceed to beat ( _literally_ ) some sense in to his head. Another time it even reaches Takeru and Aguri, and both reacted similarly. It sure does helps clear his mind, though.

(He tries not to think about it, but he misses them even more than ever.)

He doesn't know who to trust. He doesn't know who he _can_ trust.

The priest, Fusa - she seems..nice. Generally. She hasn't done anything outright hostile or threatening, yet. But there's something about her that's hard to gauge.

The young boy, a knight in training, Toma. The first time he saw the kid he was quite.. _shocked_. (As if coming across _him_ again hasn't done enough.) He's..bright, friendly - didn't even hesitate to approach a total stranger. The kid even manages to convince him for sparring sessions. All of that energy and enthusiasm, it gave a warm feeling in his chest. Wonder if this is how Akizuki feels when he trained his kids.

(He doesn't have much expectation for his own future, but if this is what Rian was speaking of then, perhaps-)

Then there's _him_. They had been dancing around each other for most of the time, never coming too close. Both wary of the other. He don't know what to make of the other, he couldn't trust the other as much as he couldn't trust himself at the moment.

At least, none of their interactions have gone south so far. Not that it's easy to hold any lengthy conversation with the other. Not with his current mental state.

It's frustrating.

Nothing about the other is what he's used to. The way he interacts with other people compared to how he is with the ones he's close to. His posture somewhat controlled, his words are clipped, never holding eye contact for long period, and moments of hesitation he never thought he'd seen from the other man.

_Who are you?_

(Everything is exhausting.)

\---

"..Hey, can I ask you something?"

"..Yeah?" For some reason he can tell what her exact question is, having felt her steady gaze observing everything from afar.

"I don't know if it's just me - why are you so.. _tense_ around Jinga? As if you were expecting him to attack you."

Her question cuts through sharper than a knife. Out of concern, no doubt. One question he doesn't know how to answer.

_'He looks like my worst enemy that I had to defeat twice over'_

There's no way that'll make sense to her.

_'I'm scared of him'_

That'll just result in more questions that he has no answer to.

Time ticking. The back of his neck prickling from her stare.

"..Ryuga?"

_What should he say?_

"..I'm sorry, I just..have a bit of difficulty trusting people." She's definitely not convinced by that, judging from her skeptical look. She might as well be the hardest person he had gone up against.

"..Okay." He releases the breath he didn't realise he was holding. "-Just, I need to tell you - Jinga, he's not _bad_ or anything. He'd probably rather hurt himself than anyone else. So.., I hope you'll give him a chance. It doesn't seem like it, but he's trying his best too."

Looks like it'll take him a much longer time to wrap his head around this problem.


	2. Mirror / Opposite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It gets louder when it's quiet.

There's something about the man that stirred something dark and sinister inside him. A voice, seemingly being whispered into his ears, _incessantly_.

_(-Break him, make him submit to you-)_

The voice that sound so much like him but also completely foreign. It makes his head spin and bile rises in his throat.

"..Shut up!"

_(Why? Couldn't admit your own desires?)_

He tried shaking his head to clear it up. The desire to bang his head to the nearest wall is getting stronger.

_(You're a coward after all.)_

He can't remember exactly since when did he starts to hear these voices, probably some times after he got bitten. It keeps whispering to him, telling him _things_ \- horrible things. About himself, about others. Things he doesn't want to hear.

(Things he doesn't want to admit.)

There's _no way_ those are his.

_Those are not his feelings. They're not real._

He glanced towards the mirror, but the one reflected in it is not himself.

Dressed in a black suit, head tilted to the side, and a smile that doesn't reach the eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VEEERRRRY SHORT update. this part was initially in the first chapter, but i decided to separate it to preserve the flow


	3. Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts and gamble

They rushed out upon receiving an order from the Watchdogs. A Horror. And it seems like a problematic one, from how it sounded. But he trusts Fusa to have his back whenever.

And him..

He's still unsure of how he feels about the other. For one, he doesn't look like the kind of person who'd mindlessly attack others. But on the other hand..

He doesn't know how to approach the other Knight without it turning into something potentially dangerous for both of them. Whatever peace that exists between the two of them at the moment is extremely _fragile_.

He still couldn't wipe away that nagging feeling. Somehow it felt like he has known the other for a long time, maybe had met him somewhere, and perhaps had hurt him in some way. Or maybe did something even worse than that judging by how the other man reacted towards him.

(With hostility, and _hatred_. _What did I do to you?_ )

(Still, he resembles the black garbed figure that often recurs in his dreams. Could it possibly be a figment of a long forgotten memory..?)

Silently, he would glance towards the other from time to time. 

The Golden Knight, _Garo_. The one told to be the strongest of all.

He appears to be quite..young, still. Probably younger than him by a few years. Outwardly, he seems like a serious kind of person, always keeping himself in check. Still, it couldn't betray his real self that shines through whenever he interacts with Toma.

From that, he knows the other man _can_ be trusted.

(And he _wants_ to.)

By the time they got there, the place is deserted and the Horror is nowhere to be seen.

"The Horror..?"

"Looks like it ran away." The smooth drawl of Alva's voice answers his question.

"I'll try to trace it. It might still be nearby."

"Aah." Spreading out a bit, they began looking around for any signs that could be of help. Almost naturally, his attention went back to the other. Looks like he found something.

"Ryuga?" His question alerted Fusa.

"I think it's.. - Zaruba?"

A telltale ring precedes, "Aah, it was a Gate."

The object in question is an old, broken mannequin, lying among other broken items piled together. He turned towards Fusa who mirrors his expression.

(He noticed it before..?)

"To beat Zaruba to it, you're quite sharp, boy." His unspoken thoughts indirectly spoken out by Alva.

"Well, he's a bit _special_." Came the reply from Zaruba, who sounds rather _proud_. As the conversation goes on, the other moved closer to the mannequin before bending down and seemingly _listening_ to the lifeless object.

"What are you trying to-?" A simple stop gesture from the other cut his question short. The silence lasted for a short while before the other starts to speak up.

"..A man and a woman, looks like there was a disagreement. The man lashed out, and..- the woman got possessed. He ran and she went after him." He straightens up after the last word. "They shouldn't have gone too far."

As if on a cue, Fusa's searcher pings followed by a loud scream.

"They're right ahead!"

Without waiting, they rush towards the call of battle.

\---

They managed to control the situation well enough though as expected the Horror proved to be quite troublesome. An extra hand sure does makes a difference.

A while after the battle, Zaruba readily addresses the question that had been floating in everyone else's head. One regarding Ryuga's peculiar ability, and the answer both clears it and complicate the matter at the same time.

Apparently, he has extra-sensory powers that he himself has no idea from where or how he develops it in the first place.

"When I do that, I can perceive the memory imprinted on the object as well as any strong emotion attached."

He looks down towards _Roze_ blade still in his hand and tightens his grip.

Maybe he can..-

(-But is he ready to..?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so originally there was a (planned)part where Mikage had Ryuga go through his (decidedly very traumatic) memory but I eventually decided to not write it out due to reasons  
> i mean it'll definitely end up with both of them getting a panic attack/breakdown over each other  
> so yeah


	4. Silent musings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lamenting the past lost in time, for a fallen soul.

It wouldn't escape him just how nice and _jarring_ it is to see the other like this. With the corners of his eyes softening to the little smile tugging his lips as he fondly ruffles his younger brother's hair. It's like he's seeing the true version of the other, the one before he turned into a Horror. So wildly different compared to the one Ryuga had come to know and detested.

And how saddening it is that someone as goodhearted can be twisted into something so.. _sinister_.

He knows how it feels to lose someone you loves so much. So painful it rips you apart. The darkness that it bring along is so overwhelmingly bleak - a single misstep will end you.

He probably would have, if not for his friends. Thanks to them, he managed to hold on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> irregular updates, because i can  
> but i'm really trying hard to not update too frequently because i writes at snail's pace  
> btw this entire fic was supposed to be a looooong oneshot. ultimately end up being broken down to multiple chapters due to above reason (hence irregular lengths)


	5. Trapped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unprecedented turn of events lead by impulse.

His back to the wall, trapped. The other man's unyielding presence forming a cage around him. Surrounding sounds muted by his loud heartbeat. He has never seen the other man like this, looking so, -

\- so _desperate_.

The air between them is getting heavier and heavier. It's becoming harder to breath as the seconds grow. His body grew tense in anticipation.

(The last time they got this close he got stabbed; can never be too careful)

It'll be quite difficult to fight back in this position, but it's nothing he couldn't handle. Nothing that has not been drilled into his head by his trusted partner.

But some things still took him off guard.

He'd expected anything - _anything_ , but this.

He'd never expect the other man to suddenly ducks into the crook of his neck. He tried to keep himself from flinching at the rather harmless contact.

What should he do now? Push him away? Let him be?

What should--

_"-Ryuga."_

His jumbled up thoughts effectively halted by that single word. Breathed against his skin, the low notes reverberate through his entire being. He barely catches the other's shift in position, lips pressing over his fluttering pulse.

It's as if time itself stopped, and everything else cease to exist but _him_.

Then the rest of the night is lost to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mikage used kabedon!  
> It was very effective!


	6. Union / Dissociation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What really happened?

By the time he woke up, the other half of the bed is unoccupied and residual heat has long gone cold. He sat there unmoved for quite some time, trying to piece together disjointed memories from last night.

How _strange_. He _was_ aware back then. And he _does_ remember.

(He remembers how Ryuga looks up with pupils dilated. Remembers how _helpless_ he looks, body arching into every touch. Lips parted in breathless moans to each thrust.

The heat is almost _unbearable_.

He remembers, then-

_"..Jinga-"_

Then he doesn't.)

He was aware.

But there's a strange, nagging feeling at the back of his head - that Ryuga wasn't calling for _him_ back then.

Everything that came after is oddly murky.

What happened? Did he-

-Did he got hurt?

_Did I hurt him?_

(A flash, and he can hear those dark, mocking laughter echoes inside the room.)

Overcame by a sense of urgency, he got out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i worked harder on the title than i did my studies gdi


	7. Warmth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A moment of peace.

He wakes up from a formless dream. His surrounding is still fairly dark as this place doesn't really have any windows to allow natural light to come in. It's not much of an issue though it does mess up with his day and night perception. A slight weight prompted him to look downward, finding a familiar grey long coat draped over him.

He doesn't know what to make of it. His sleep laden mind is not made for this kind of convoluted mysteries. Slowly he tries to move it off of him only to find his left hand pinned down by something else.

Or rather, _held_ by something.

Staring at the offending _hand_ firmly grasping his own, he found its owner asleep beside him. Only after a while he noticed that the glove is missing exposing the rough, jagged scar over the back of the other's hand. From the shape of it, it looks like it have been left there by a wild beast,-

-Or maybe, a _Horror_. The possibility does favour the later, considering their job.

But still, the gesture strikes him as something _odd_ \- he's sure it's not the kind of thing you'd readily reveal to a stranger, much less to someone you're unsure of trusting. It feels very _intimate_.

(He tries not to dwell over it too much. Tries not to think how their hands fit well together, how the other's calloused palm brush over the scar on his own.)

He looks..peaceful when he sleeps. However the lines of exhaustion became more pronounced on his features.

(Blinking as he feels the sudden urge to smooth those lines out.)

_Maybe..just a little longer.._

Lulled by the persistent warmth spreading from their intertwined hands, he drifts back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soft(tm)  
> also, it's based on this: https://kn96artworks.tumblr.com/post/613030560942686208/warmth


	8. Traveller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She observes from the sideline, watching over them.

Time passes by unnoticed whenever she's working, tinkering away on her equipments, or spent going through age old documents. Familiar voices talking a steady presence in the background, making her feel _at home_. The two brothers stuck in their little competition, again; occasionally joined by a third voice, clearly amused by their antics.

Ryuga mixes in well with the rest of them once the initial apprehension dissolves, almost as if he had always been here. Toma almost immediately warms up to him from the first day, Jinga took longer to get used to him. Whatever it was in between the two of them - looks like they have gotten over it.

(And maybe a bit _more_. She knows when she sees it. The little touches, the way Jinga looks at him, and the way Ryuga silently reciprocates.)

They work seamlessly together in battle, knowing each other's move without even saying anything.

"He won't admit it but he really _hates_ loosing." Toma rather loudly whispers to Ryuga.

"Really, I expected you to be a bit more of an _adult_ , considering your age."

"-Shut up!" She can hear his embarrassment from miles away.

The place somehow feels _brighter_. Ryuga's presence is a positive influence to all of them, without them realising it. It'll be great if he could stay, but she knows eventually they would have to part ways.

Her mind drifts back to several nights ago; what Ryuga had told her then shocked her. It was obvious from the start that he was not from this area, but he couldn't have come from _that_ far away -..

_It was a quiet night, marked only by the occasional rustling of leaves in the wind. She was just working at her desk when Ryuga suddenly approaches her. From how he looks, she knows there's something troubling him._

_"- I've been thinking about it, and I think at least I should tell you."_

_"What is it? If it's a problem then maybe I could help you with it."_

_"It is a problem, though I'm not sure if you can do anything about it..-" He paused, words stuck at the tip of his tongue._

_"-Actually, I'm not from here."_

_"..Yes, you have told us that when we first met-"_

_"-No, no it's not like that. I mean, I'm not from this.. world, time - I don't know!"_

_What?_

_"Wait, so you're saying that you came from a different world or timeline? How is that even possible?"_

_"That's the problem. I don't know how I got here in the first place and I don't know how to go back, or if I can go back. Not even Zaruba knows what had happened." His distress is so obvious it hurts to look._

_But, a possible case of time travel slash world hopping? Never had she come across such things. In theories, it may be possible. In reality? The risk is astronomical. Only lunatics would dare to challenge it._

_"I..see..Honestly, I've never stumbled upon anything pertaining that, but I'll do whatever I can to help you. However, I can't promise you anything."_

_"-It's okay, I understand. I'm sorry I can't be of any help, I'm no good at this kind of things." He looks like a sad, lost puppy. The image is vivid enough she had to blink several times to clear it._

_"You don't have to apologise, it's not your fault."_

_"..Thanks, though. You're a good person. If Rian's here, I think she'll like you too. You two are kinda similar, in some way."_

_He slowly breaks into a soft, fond smile when he speaks of his partner. He must've misses her so much, being separated for a long time._

Wherever he came from, there are people who need him. And it's wrong to keep him away from his _family_.

A farewell is inevitable. Silently, she worries about Jinga, who have grown somewhat _attached_ to him.

_Can he accept that, when the time comes?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tried writing Fusa's POV. prolly ooc but yeah  
> a bit on what might have happened at the start


	9. Parallel / Cross-over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The other side of the story.

The days pass by as it always does, barely much have happened beyond the normal stuffs. Unknowingly, they had fallen into a pattern of routine. Now, he's sitting nearby, silently observing Toma as he trains together with Ryuga.

It is a great relief to him to see that they have bonded well together. And Ryuga no longer seems to harbour his initial animosity towards him too.

At least.

However, he still couldn't get over how utterly _confused_ the other man looks like whenever he's being regarded nicely. It’s almost like he's expecting the opposite.

Why - he couldn't think of a reason.

(To think that Ryuga might have been treated otherwise for whatever reason pains him.)

And then, there's that other thing..

It was late one night. It was one of those rare times where there's not much happening; it was relatively calm throughout the day. Since there were no reports of Horror so he went off around the city on his own, looking for _objects_ to be sealed. He had just returned to the base when he heard voices talking.

He immediately recognised the first voice. It was Fusa.

_"..-you came from a different world or timeline? How is that even possible?"_

Who is she talking about? She sounds quite shocked; disbelief clear from her voice.

_"That's the problem. I don't know how I got here in the first place and I don't know how to go back, or if I can go back. Not even Zaruba knows what had happened."_

Ryuga?

What does he means by that? _'Cannot go back'_ , to where?

It was by pure accident that he overheard their hushed conversations. Silently, he escapes the area, unwilling to breach their privacy any more than he already did even if he didn't mean to. But now he couldn't stop thinking about it.

Ryuga is not from _here_ , not of _this_ world.

Whatever that was supposed to mean. Impossible by human technology - could it be caused by a _Horror_ instead? Not that he have ever heard of one capable of such thing.

No wonder the other Knight had looked so anxious when they first met.

But there was certainly _recognition_ in those eyes.

Ryuga _knows_ him, in a different form.

That was _hostile_ to him.

A _H-_

(He abruptly cut that line of thought before it spirals out of his control. He remembers running back outside then, letting the cold night air bites at his skin, distracting him from his rumination.)

"-Mikage?"

Ryuga's voice had him promptly looking upward, into Ryuga's worried face.

"..Yes?"

"Is..everything okay?" He follows Ryuga’s line of sight down to his hand.

Apparently, he had unknowingly reached out to catch the other man's hand while he was deep in his thoughts. He quickly released it.

"-Yeah, I am. Don't worry."

_(Yeah, keep on lying to yourself.)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a (somewhat)direct continuation of the last chapter  
> this is by far the longest gap between updates for this fic xD oh well, at least it's not taking as long as Trigger xDDD  
> again, thank you for reading :3


	10. Relief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Courage, acceptance, relief.

Wonder how many days have it been since then, felt like it was long ago. He'd been searching for ways to go back home, but found nothing. The only thing he has with him as a reminder is his blade and Zaruba. At least, there's someone( _ring?_ ) else who knows what he had gone through. It feels a little less lonely when he thinks that way.

He got used to being here, being with them. He doesn't feel out of place despite being relatively new to them.

He was.. _scared_ at first. Seeing _him_ again. Scared that he might not be able to control himself. He couldn't believe it -

_"..Ryuga, he's human."_

He couldn't believe Zaruba's words then. It was a hard to grasp concept for him. He denied it, strongly. After all of that. After everything he had done.

_He is a human. He was a human._

That's why.

It took him a long time to finally be able to look straight into the other man's eyes. Afraid that he'd see the same deep dark void threatening to drown him in insanity. _Afraid that he'd be pulled in._

He looks into them, and found something else. Still those similar dark pools, but more like a clear deep lake in a misty forest. Maybe a little sad, a little worn out. It shocked him. But he felt relieved, like a great burden had been lifted off.

_"Ryuga? Is there anything..?"_

_"..No, it's nothing."_

(He doesn't mind drowning in them.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nothing much to say about this one  
> just soft and tender  
> thank you for reading


	11. Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of curiosity and unexpected results.

From time to time he would catch Ryuga staring at him. It wasn't like the other man had anything to say to him, just openly _staring_. Sometimes he'd blink away, other time he didn't until he got called out. It's not exactly annoying or anything (maybe, a bit).

He wanted to ask Ryuga about that but couldn't find the appropriate words for it.

Not when he looked like he's unsure whether what he's seeing is _real_. He'd stare long and hard, as if trying to prove that to himself.

(And it adds to the mountain of worry he'd been slowly building.)

Once in a while he'd stare back. Stray sunlight reflecting off of those warm brown orbs gave it a slight golden tint. _How fitting_ , he'd thought to himself. They're _beautiful_ , but he can see a lingering _shadow_ in them, storm clouds blocking the sun. (..Why?)

He did it enough time to notice that it took quite a while for Ryuga to realise he's returning the favour. His eyes would widen in surprise, before turning away. And Jinga is left feeling shocked at _himself_ for thinking that it was _cute_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soft and tender pt 2  
> communication is definitely not his forte x'D


	12. Tangled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's pause and think for a moment.

He woke up to dim, warm light and someone's soft breathing. As usual he couldn't really tell the time in here, it could've been midday and he wouldn't know. As if time itself cease to exist. He tried to shift into a sitting position but was stopped by the arm slung across his midsection, firmly holding him in place. Looking downward he can somewhat make out his companion's silver hair. Apparently, the man had snuggled up to his chest in sleep.

He's more or less trapped - torn between moving away (and risk waking him up), or staying there (and deal with these, _waves_ of emotions he doesn't know what to do with).

Their relationship have improved, somewhat. Though _improve_ sounds like an understatement, considering what they just did and the aftermath. Despite everything that Rian had told ( _taught_ ) him about this kind of thing, it still felt foreign. Supposedly it should only happens when both parties knows and trusts each other well. Likely after much consideration and time. But then he got reminded of how Takeru used to do it. And he was told it's quite a common thing. Then he got confused so he decided to not think about it.

If so, what are _they_? Including tonight it's definitely no longer a onetime thing. They certainly have spent quite some time together, though most of it gone to being hyper aware and extremely cautious of each other. Do they trust each other? Maybe, to some degree. He can safely say that Mikage is not _him_ , and he's willing to bet on that. Albeit not without issues of his own.

(Of course, he doesn't know what Mikage thinks of him. At least no attempts were made on his life, and he suppose that's a good sign. Not even mentioning how he seems to drop his guard around Ryuga whenever it's just the two of them.)

It feels like an unspoken _something_ had passed in between them, some sort of mutual agreement. Over what, he has no idea. But whatever it is, it sure doesn't feel _casual_. Not at all. But it wasn't that he wants this to happen, more like he was carried away by the currents. Like it was _inevitable_.

(Unconsciously, they seek each other out.)

Shifting again, he let his arm fall around the other's shoulder, half returning the hug.

_"..Don't leave-"_

So he heard the other man muttered in his sleep, once. He still doesn't know what to make of it. He _needs_ to go back to his place, to his friends. Now there's a small part of him that doesn't want to. He can't bring himself to _leave_.

Everything is still frustrating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EXACTLY one month. no i did not plan this  
> i got occupied with Possession and various other things(and trying to work out the next ch of Trigger)  
> ch summary pulled out from a song xD but it kinda fits tho  
> thank you for reading :3


	13. Light / Shadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Desire edging into insanity.

Here he is, alone with his thoughts. They aren't weighing his mind anymore like how it used to; still from time to time he needed the escape. How long has it been? It felt like ages ago. Unknowingly time had passed in between them.

He left the bustling meaning to sort his thoughts (and feelings) out, but now his head is full of him. His smile, his voice, the little touches, _everything_.

He releases a long sigh. This is unlike him. He is not supposed to be caught up in this kind of thing.

Shifting his attention elsewhere, towards the broken mirror opposite to his bed. He recalls a flash of _panic_ \- it was purely on impulse. One moment he saw a stranger in the mirror. Then the next one it's already shattered, blood running down his hand. But the voices never left and the image never truly goes away. He recalls Fusa looking extremely worried, questioning him while she tends to his wound. He recalls Toma glancing back at him every few minutes, unable to concentrate on his training.

_"What happened?"_

_"..It was an accident, nothing much."_

And even Ryuga who were keeping his distance at the time, looks like _he_ was the one in pain.

Sometimes he wonders why they stayed with him. He's nothing but trouble. They'd do better without him. But he couldn't bear the thought of them leaving. It'll drive him insane. (Or maybe he already is.)

Letting out a mirthless laugh, he let himself fell backwards onto the bed. It feels strangely empty now that he's the only one in it. He tried to keep him at an arm's length, tried to not get attached. When he realised it, he's already too far gone. To him who had been lost in an endless night, Ryuga's presence felt a lot like the first rays of the sun. The warm light chased the cold shadows away, and he had readily taken it in.

He had never felt this way towards a person. It scared him, so he pushed it down again and again until he couldn't anymore. And he stumbled over to the other side of the line.

He _wanted_ him. Wanted to keep him here, within his reach. To fill up this emptiness in his soul.

_Lust, greed._

"I'm really the worst."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> many thoughts head full xD  
> thank you for reading :3


	14. Drown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stranded, and sinking in.

Something is strange lately. It wasn't enough to be said obvious, but it certainly wasn't normal. No one else seems to notice (though they're probably wilfully ignoring it). Nevertheless, the days go on as it always did here.

Mikage is rather.. _jittery_ these days. And the more he thinks about it the weirder it sounds to him. He looks urgent, and Ryuga keep catching him throwing glances his way every now and then with that strange look in his eyes.

"Hey, aren't he acting a little weird lately?"

" _Nii-chan_? Hm-" Toma tilts his head sideways in contemplation while looking towards his older brother. "-Can't really see it, though. If anything he looks a bit _brighter_ since you came." He finishes his sentence with a wide, cheeky grin.

He recalls Fusa saying something similar. Well, he for one, had to completely re-wire his entire head to work Mikage out (and completely separate him from Jinga) so he couldn't really comment on that. But even for him,-

"Say, are you two like, _dating_?" Toma asks, mischief twinkling in his eyes.

_This little-_ "Oi, you're still too young for that kind of thing. You're lucky Fusa didn't hear that."

Toma runs off laughing.

*

Night falls and the two knights are out hunting. For quite some time, there weren't much _Horrors_ going around the place. Something he is thankful of, but never fails to nag at the back of his head. Less works means more free time, and free time means his thoughts would be more _persistent_. And _loud_.

To the point it's deafening.

He's completely occupied with his thoughts he didn't hear the other man moving closer.

"Ryuga?"

The sound of his name snapped him out. Turning towards the call he jumped slightly at the sudden close proximity.

"-Yeah?"

"Nothing, just you looked a bit _out of it_. I'm worried you might have gotten hurt somewhere.."

His voice trails off towards the end, eyes busy searching before finally settling onto Ryuga's.

"Ah, no, I'm fine." He had to avert his eyes from the sheer intensity of that stare. He's still not used to it, not used to _this_.

An indeterminate amount of time passed by in silence until he felt the other man's fingers reaching out and curling around his own. Gently, they tugged him closer, chest to chest. He can feel the heat emanating off of him, and his heartbeat hammering in his chest.

"..Mikage?" Tilting upward to look into the other man's face. Why does he look so _conflicted_? _What's wrong?_

It's when Mikage faced him back he knows exactly what is coming.

"Ryuga, I-" _No, don't say it, please._

His words were cut short then; instead he dived in for a kiss so desperate Ryuga can only gasp helplessly. The hands moved to wrap themselves around his waist, pulling him even closer. His own reached up around the other man's neck, holding on.

(And he allowed himself to be swept away by the currents, to sink deeper under the waves.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah the update is taking longer and longer. i have effectively lost track of time since school ended (and the continuing mco certainly does not help)  
> ryuga may not have much experience but he's not too oblivious lol  
> thank you for reading :)

**Author's Note:**

> and so i cursed myself with yet another multi-chaptered fic, with the same ship no less  
> truly, my self control is non-existant at this point  
> also i just wanted to see these two interact in a more friendly(?)/less hostile way (and tbh i have a lingering attachment towards mikage)  
> gonna go through this slowly


End file.
